Skips Diner

Simply skipping along on a sunny afternoon. Skipping all around the room. We think of years past when as kids we jumped and frolicked along. Knowing, that nothing would ever be wrong. Nothing in our hearts but a song. And so we skipped here and there. Seemingly without a care but not unaware.
On a certain Friday afternoon we skipped right on over to Skips on Holmgren Way, less than a stones throw away. Many a time had we passed this establishment, on our way to some other secret hint. Another joint with the best burger.
“Why not try Skips?” Nick would say.
“No reason at all,” I would relay.
And so, during Burger Testing Season One, we went to Skips, where they ruined our fun!
“We do not take plastic, debit, checks or credit,”
“Pay attention, you should have read it!” the waitress bellowed.
“Who amongst us has cash to pay?” we asked.
“No one, at least not today,” responds Tom.
Finding a day when an entire panel will pay, is more difficult with cash than credit any day.

We put our collective feet down and made a point to skip the town and into Skips with a few dollars in our pockets. They don't take credit, but we will rockets (rock it)! Or keep a few dollars in your lockets? But please don’t drop its? Anyway, today was Skips day to sock it!
I want to string together crappy rhymes all day, and I probably would, but it will take four hours and I just don’t want to stay up that late. So here it is; we finally made it to Skips. Nick had always wanted to go, the rest of us were just along for the ride. Sure we want to hit up any place with a good burger, but what was so special about Skips?
Maybe it was the fact that it was one of the few remaining structures in Aswaubenon that was built before 1920. Ok, I don’t know that for fact, but when you step in the door, you certainly go back at least 20 years. So to the jerk kids today, it might as well be 1920.
There is nothing really spectacular about this diner. It has tables and greasy spoons, but is not ideal if you’re looking for the best diner in the world. The abundance of old folks playing cribbage is above average however. The outside walls were mostly windows which was nice in a place like this. Except the building is out of place in the middle of Packer territory. Unless you consider that it was a hotbed of excitement in the roaring 60's.
The employees are diner folk, very nice older women as waitresses, a hairy old angry guy with a paper cap cooking in the back, and a strange young lanky lad bussing the tables. We did not feel out of place or even lose face, when we sat at their largest table for eight. We did however feel some sort of disconnect.
This Friday, the panel, save Tom, made it to the test. Kayla also joined the group and was a delight for sure. Amongst the newcomers was a mistress named Heidi, a new coworker of Nick’s, out testing the waters at a new place. Well good for her. Hopefully she joins us again, but I cannot blame her if she does not. And as always, Kayla has shown to be the most resilient friend to the burger testers as we may have.
So let’s skip to the brass tacks. The menu was somewhat promising. A promising lineup of burgers. The only extraordinary burger was the Skips Burger, the others were routine but abundant, and available.
Neither of our guests ordered burgers, I was the only one to order the Skips Burger so I will go first. I chose the burger only because no one else would and it was Skips signature burger. In doing so, I may have become the ass of the group. The burger featured a beef patty and a brat patty. I was apprehensive of testing a burger mixed with a brat. Unfortunately, the brat did overpower the burger. The discs were about the same size and obviously a brat has more seasoning. Oh, someday I will have to write about the marvelous Titletown Cajun Burger, it was truly a delight (they did the sausage burger thing right). Anyway the burger part was good but the brat part was overpowering and extra greasy. It still tasted very good so I gave it 7 taste.
Sarah really enjoyed the service and the food. But clearly, the establishment was not her cup of tea. Her lowest score was a 3 and went to atmosphere. Overall she gave a 7, which easily would have been an 8 almost anywhere else.
Plain Jane, er, Nick gave the atmosphere the highest score of all, a 4. In fact, he gave it a better rating than anyone else. Maybe it was the fact that he was pinned as the Skips guy, so he felt obligated to give them a pass. But I think he was perhaps the most honest. They truly did have a good burger, a better bun, the waitress was nice and nothing was really wrong. We couldn’t knock off points for anything, so I think Nick gave it an honest score, an overall of 8.
And then there is always Karen. Who did she meet in the bathroom today? Well, probably no one at Skips, maybe the bus boy, Ray. I’m not sure who copied who, but Karen and Sarah gave the exact same scores for every category. I think Karen wanted to give the place an 8 overall because of the burger alone, but settled for a 7 due to all the elements.
So together, most of the group was pleasantly surprised by the charm of the waitress. She was not spectacular, but for some reason, the group thought she was very good. Burger flavor was a solid 8 across the board. They had good burgers to be sure. One jerk gave a 7 for taste, but that was because he ordered the brat burger thing. Condiment availability and ease of consumption were all rated high. I think the buns played a big role in ease of consumption. They may be easily overlooked, but Skips had some good buns. The buns enabled an ease of consumption and were tasty. The major downfall was the atmosphere. In today’s world of fast cars and loud music, we just cannot stay still long enough to appreciate old folks squabbling over a Cribbage game gone awry.
If you are still reading this post, read a bit more. Skips may be the absolute best burger per dollar joint in the state. Better than sleaze holes like the MacDonalds! At skips, you can get a delicious burger and fries for $5. This isn’t just another value meal. The burgers are top notch compared to places that charge similar rates. It would be like the most gourmet of Big Macs, for a fraction of the cost. If you want, or need a great burger and only have $5, head to Skips. We understand not everyone can always afford to try some of the outrageously priced places we test, but Skips will give you a taste of the real thing for a fraction of the cost.
Skip with it.